Monday, October 31, 2011

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 3

...and it goes on.  This portion will speak on whether Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now is better for you.  Yeah, You (I mean if you're a female).  It also gives a birds and the bees explanation about how 'Assholes' are born.  Spoiler: a stork has nothing to do with it.  Again, enjoy.

Part 3:

Next topic: Choosing Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now.  Which one should you take?  That all depends not completely on your common sense level but also what you are looking for at that specific time in your life.  You might be at that stage when you’re ready to settle down, put a stop to all of the nightly clubbing and loose sex with complete strangers you’ve been having and pick just one guy.  One guy to spend the rest of your natural life together.  Just One.  Not one until you grow tired of him and find a seemingly better model for you to upgrade to.  No, just one.  Sorry.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sean's Halloween Horrorfest

The day that they call All-Hallows-Eve is upon us.  Every year we think about creative ways to dress up our children in cute and funny little costumes so they can pretend to be someone else for a day.  The more candy they bring home the higher their confidence and energy rises along with parents’ frustration of now having super-hyped children doped up on sugar running around the house.  Halloween also gives women the excuse to dress in skimpy outfits and not be ridiculed for it.  Honestly, I think if females could wear these outfits to work, they would.  I mean we (men) aren’t going to stop them.  We’ll simply have to sacrifice some production at work to get another type of sweets; Eye-candy.

Those of us who love film, however, coincide Halloween with the horror genre.  Oh, how we love it so.  For us, Halloween is an excuse for us to scare the liquid crap out of those un-brave souls who always prefer to watch another type of movie.  Well this is our time and we reserve the right to embrace it.  No, I haven’t seen every horror film in the very vast library of spookiness and I will even admit that I am missing some of the classics on my career list.  But in my quest to see as many as I possibly can before the good Lord decides to return and place judgment upon us all, I was able to see and deem an opinion on these select couple that will follow below.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart part 2

...and we continue on.  This second part focuses more on the non-necessity that is drama and the even more needlessness (I think that's a word) of it being present in a relationship.  If you want that relationship to last anyways.  Enjoy.

Part 2:

Back tracking to using your common sense about making the right choice, all I want to say is this: USE IT! That is why God provided us with it.  You have plenty of other attributes that He also gave you to use for other things.  You want a college degree? Use that part of the brain that controls intelligence.  You want to go running?  Use your legs.  You want to coerce you dude into doing something for you?  Bat your eyelashes, use your “sweet” asking voice, your unfair right to withhold sex and the power of your precious vagina.  You want to keep a good man?  Don’t make petty excuses not to keep him like his hair grows funny or he doesn’t have a specific job or he snores in his sleep.  I’m pretty sure you snore in your sleep too but he doesn’t tell you because he knows it might make you feel self conscious about yourself.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Girls are Stupid, Boys are Somewhat Smart

First of a six part piece discussing my thoughts on females and common sense.  Feel free to comment about any and everything.  Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm close minded so I hope that you read with an open one.

Part 1:

Yes, the title does say that and yes, I did come up with it all by myself.  But no, I do not exactly mean what the title says.  Well, to an extent.  You see when I say that “Girls are Stupid”, and I’ve used that phrase plenty of times in my existence, I don’t exactly mean all females are blithering idiots.  This has nothing to do with basic and pure intelligence.  I’m not questioning your smarts because you may have failed to do substantially well on that rather easy open-book exam back in high school.  What I am questioning, again only to an extent, is the female level of pure and basic common sense.  Common sense and intelligence are of two different categories. 

Monday, October 17, 2011

Poetry Corner

"Sex $#!t"

More than just sex, I wanna give you my excess
This and that, Everything left over from past Ex’s

Things taken way back from unsent text’s
I hope to see a shooting star and make you my next wish

So much trust, I feel safe to enter unprotected
Remove our clothes and throw away the contraceptive

Before I proceed I must stop to give you a wet kiss
Down below, more than a meal, girl You’re the best dish

Your body squirming, my tongue got you grabbing your necklace
Made a move with my finger and your legs almost broke my neck disk

I signed my name right there cuz this ain’t no guest list
I should be the only one down here cuz they ain’t no guest lips

I come up for air like I’ve been under the deck ship
I pull out the sledgehammer because I’m about to wreck this

You grab my arm and I think maybe you don’t want to test this
But the provocative look in your eye says “Baby, come get this”

A low squeak escapes your lips and I find those wet hips
Because I want you to really feel it and they make the best grips

Every taste of your sweat makes me eager for the next sip
Your pelvic bone stinging against mine like a brand new latex whip

A long while later and I’m sure the neighbors heard the best of it
Tried some stuff that had you flopping around like a wet fish

We lie next to each other, bodies still pulsing, basking in our own sex mist
Nail marks in my back, teeth scars on my ear, I know you’ll never forget this

by M.L. Kasper Kain

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Poetry Corner

Bad Memories

I still remember picking you up at your home and swallowing hard when I saw you.

I remember taking you to that restaurant where we chatted and shared dessert after knocking down some pins.  

I remember you holding my hand after I reached for yours during our stroll before an impromptu movie.  

I remember sitting in the theater debating whether or not I should kiss you when I took you back home.  

I remember aiming for your cheek but you slipping your lips in the way so they caught mine.

I still remember a stupid, nervous remark I made about you having "nice teeth".

I even remember picking you up and carrying you to my car.

I remember our nicknames for each other, yours starting with a "W" and mine with a "P".

I remember expectations falling short soon after.  

Now you're with someone else and I try not to remember...but I still do, you see.  

Now I kind of wish you could remember me.